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the student says, "That's not a Porsche, it's a Ferrari."
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Brian Kernighan has an automobile which he helped design.
Unlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas guage,
nor any of the numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver.
Rather, if the driver makes any mistake, a giant "?" lights up in the
center of the dashboard. "The experienced driver", he says, "will
usually know what's wrong."
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A novice was trying to fix a broken lisp machine by turning
the power off and on. Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke
sternly, "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no
understanding of what is going wrong." Knight turned the machine off
and on. The machine worked.
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"Your son still sliding down the banisters?"
"We wound barbed wire around them."
"That stop him?"
"No, but it sure slowed him up."
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Joan, the rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all
of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a
bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one
could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall
tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs;
she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her
rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager
of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton
doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much
appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No
one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying
on the dining room skylight."
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"Gentlemen of the jury," said the defense attorney, now
beginning to warm to his summation, "the real question here before you
is, shall this beautiful young woman be forced to languish away her
loveliest years in a dark prison cell? Or shall she be set free to
return to her cozy little apartment at 4134 Mountain Ave. -- there to
spend her lonely, loveless hours in her boudoir, lying beside her
little Princess phone, 962-7873?"
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Once upon a time, there was a fisherman who lived by a great
river. One day, after a hard day's fishing, he hooked what seemed to
him to be the biggest, strongest fish he had ever caught. He fought
with it for hours, until, finally, he managed to bring it to the
surface. Looking of the edge of the boat, he saw the head of this
huge fish breaking the surface. Smiling with pride, he reached over
the edge to pull the fish up. Unfortunately, he accidently caught his
watch on the edge, and, before he knew it, there was a snap, and his
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