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irus.
It's a bug.
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During a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen
were blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall. Suddenly a
red-face country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted,
"Hey, you almost hit my wife."
"Did I?" cried one hunter, aghast. "Terribly sorry. Have a shot
at mine, over there."
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An Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are captured by
cannibals. The leader of the tribe comes up to them and says, "Even
though you are about to killed, your deaths will not be in vain.
Every part of your body will be used. Your flesh will be eaten, for
my people are hungry. Your hair will be woven into clothing, for my
people are naked. Your bones will be ground up and made into
medicine, for my people are sick. Your skin will be stretched over
canoe frames, for my people need transportation. We are a fair
people, and we offer you a chance to kill yourself with our ceremonial
knife."
The Englishman accepts the knife and yells, "God Save the
Queen", while plunging the knife into his heart.
The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and
yells, "Vive la France", while plunging the knife into his heart.
The American removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
while stabbing himself all over his body, "Here's your lousy canoe!"
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"And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?"
asked the father of his little son.
"Diet."
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A Scotsman was strolling across High Street one day wearing
his kilt. As he neared the far curb, he noticed two young blondes in
a red convertible eyeing him and giggling. One of them called out,
"Hey, Scotty! What's worn under the kilt?"
He strolled over to the side of the car and asked, "Ach, lass,
are you SURE you want to know?" Somewhat nervously, the blonde
replied yes, she did really want to know.
The Scotsman leaned closer and confided, "Why, lass, nothing's
worn under the kilt, everything's in perfect workin' order!"
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"Anything else, sir?" asked the attentive bellhop, trying his
best to make the lady and gentleman comfortable in their penthouse
suite in the posh hotel.
"No. No, thank you," replied the gentleman.
"Anything for your wife, sir?" the bellhop asked.
"Why, yes, young man," said the gentleman. "Would you bring me
a postcard?"
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There was a college student trying to earn some pocket money
by going from house to house offering to do odd jobs. He explained
this to a man who answered one door.
"How much will you charge to paint my porch?" asked the man.
"Forty dollars."
"Fine" said the man, and gave the student the paint and brushes.
Three hours later the paint-splattered lad knocked on the door
again. "All done!", he says, and collects his money. "By the way," 上一页 [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] ... 下一页 >>
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