It is said that Lisp programmers know that memory management is so
important that it cannot be left to the users and C programmers know
that memory management is so important that it cannot be left to the
system.
%
	Mr. Jones related an incident from "some time back" when IBM
Canada Ltd. of Markham, Ont., ordered some parts from a new supplier
in Japan.  The company noted in its order that acceptable quality
allowed for 1.5 per cent defects (a fairly high standard in North
America at the time).
	The Japanese sent the order, with a few parts packaged
separately in plastic. The accompanying letter said: "We don't know
why you want 1.5 per cent defective parts, but for your convenience,
we've packed them separately."
	-- Excerpted from an article in The (Toronto) Globe and Mail
%
	A woman was married to a golfer.  One day she asked, "If I were
to die, would you remarry?"
	After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in
this marriage and I would want to be this happy again."
	The wife asked, "Would you give your new wife my car?"
	"Yes," he replied.  "That's a good car and it runs well."
	"Well, would you live in this house?"
	"Yes, it is a lovely house and you have decorated it beautifully. 
I've always loved it here."
	"Well, would you give her my golf clubs?"
	"No."
	"Why not?"
	"She's left handed."
%
	A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came
upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.
"That's what I like to see", said the priest, "A man helping his
fellow man".
	As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other,
"Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."  
%
	In a forest a fox bumps into a little rabbit, and says, "Hi,
Junior, what are you up to?"
	"I'm writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes," said
the rabbit.
	"Come now, friend rabbit, you know that's impossible!  No one
will publish such rubbish!"
	"Well, follow me and I'll show you."
	They both go into the rabbit's dwelling and after a while the
rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.  Comes along a
wolf.  "Hello, little buddy, what are we doing these days?"
	"I'm writing the 2'nd chapter of my thesis, on how rabbits
devour wolves."
	"Are you crazy?  Where's your academic honesty?"
	"Come with me and I'll show you."
	As before, the rabbit comes out with a satisfied look on his
face and a diploma in his paw.  Finally, the camera pans into the
rabbit's cave and, as everybody should have guessed by now, we see a
mean-looking, huge lion, sitting, picking his teeth and belching, next
to some furry, bloody remnants of the wolf and the fox.

	The moral: It's not the contents of your thesis that are
important -- it's your PhD advis
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